STAY

sad hearts and heavy hands
taking over my body
so I can’t even stand
talking like pain’s my hobby

you go so here I stay
screaming to a silent wall
you always walk away
never there to see me fall

I bleed and you don’t know
look behind you’re never there
feelings you never show
so I can’t tell if you care

mind numb, suctioned with hate
suffocating all my thoughts
can’t even contemplate
all my thinking turned to knots

so I just wait to die
getting through another day
sometimes I wonder why
I even make the choice to stay

 

 

 

 

 

by Angela Bachmann

Reflections

skin stretches and pulls against the bones
protruding through my figure, plunging
out like a swan dive
off of the quarry’s edge, elegant and yet
haunting
because the starvation is tiring
and the will power left to fuel the swim
to shore is waning away
with the rush of the water against the winds of the land
and each meal mixed up in the blender beneath my ribs
before resurrecting to the place it once began
only this time leaving violently
between convulsions of hurling motions
as my head whips down as a finger
slips free making way
for the stream of self-hate to erase
itself from my body

only it is always there

with each glance at the slim reflection
rippling into the lake
pushing and pushing and pushing and
pushing
distorting the reality of my image and
as my figure dances with the waves
I can’t help but to believe
this fragmented, broken being
is the most accurate evidence of my appearance
that I have ever seen

 

 

 

 

 

by Angela Bachmann